Friday Features: Volleyball Rivals Find Friendship Off the Court
By Chris Megginson
Over the last 14 seasons, North Alabama’s Stephanie Radecki and West Florida’s Melissa Wolter have coached one of the most intense rivalries in the Gulf South Conference, but the phrase bitter rivals does not apply.
Radecki and Wolter have forged a friendship off the court that may seem a bit uncommon for two head coaches who have combined for more than 700 career wins and 11 GSC Championships since 2004, including five played against each other. They have also met in the NCAA Tournament more than once.
“It is really rare to have a friendship with a coach that you see so often in really important matches. It shows a lot of strength in her character, and hopefully mine, that we have the ability to separate that and have a good friendship and can support each other,” Radecki said.
Both coaches say the friendship developed slowly after a few seasons coaching against each other and has strengthened over the last decade. Wolter saw it begin as the two started to learn more about each other off the court when they served on NCAA committees together. Wolter said her respect grew for Radecki when she received a random call one season from Radecki encouraging her about a rough start to the season.
“I still remember it like it was yesterday, she picked up the phone and called me. ‘I just have one thing I want to say to you and that is scheduling tough is only going to make your team better.’ It’s moments like that the average coach out there is out there looking at our record thinking, ‘Wow, what’s West Florida doing?’ or ‘West Florida’s going to be down this year.’ But Stephanie was right there to tell me I was doing the right thing,” Wolter said. “As a competitor, I found that really special that she knew what I was doing and she knew we would take our hits early and for her to go out of her way to tell me that is really cool. That is one of the poignant things I remember early on in our years getting to know each other.”
Radecki says the two have grown closer as they’ve each encountered trials in their life, such as when Wolter was diagnosed with stage-2 breast cancer in September 2006. She spent five months enduring eight rounds of chemotherapy treatments, all the while rarely missing a practice. Wolter led UWF to 20 wins that season and the program’s first NCAA Regional Tournament appearance. The next season, she recorded her first wins against UNA.
“Watching her strength and how she handled that and still balanced her team, allowed me to gain a lot of respect for her. I think relationships, especially friendships are based on respect,” Radecki said. “Over the years, I’ve had situations where I’ve leaned on her, and she’s had situations where she’s leaned on me. We’ve created a great friendship. I think we respect each other a lot. I think our teams battle so hard against each other.”
In October 2016, their friendship was put on display before the 10
th annual UWF Pack It Pink Game in honor of breast cancer awareness. It also marked Wolter’s 10
th anniversary of her diagnosis. During the pregame ceremony, Radecki’s players each gave Wolter a flower as the lineups were announced.
“It was such a touching, moving symbolism of our friendship and her respect for me and the personal aspect of what it’s meant to her to coach against me and with me for all of these years. That will forever be something I won’t forget,” Wolter said. “She’s really taught me how to be a friend above and beyond what happens on the court, and I’ll forever be grateful to her for that … Many times, especially over the past few years, I’ve picked up the phone and Stephanie was the first person I called, even when it had nothing to do with volleyball. That’s what makes what we have totally different.”
Another display of their friendship came in May 2017 when Wolter filled in for Radecki to present UNA player Natasha Fomina at the GSC Top Ten Awards banquet. Radecki was in Brazil coaching an NCAA DII Select team and watched the presentation online.
“It was a great honor for me, and as her friend and colleague. I thought that was one of the greatest privileges I’ve had in my coaching career was to speak about an opponent’s player,” said Wolter, who wrote and rewrote the speech three times.
On the court, their rivalry began in 2003 when Wolter took over the UWF program and Radecki was in her first year as a head coach at Saint Leo. They met head-to-head for the first time that September, a three-set win for Wolter and the Argos. Radecki took over the defending national champion UNA program the next season, just as Wolter was changing the tradition of UWF volleyball. Prior to Wolter’s hire, West Florida was 0-6 all-time against UNA. Now West Florida holds the edge, 26-17. Seven of their matches have been decided in five sets, including the last two GSC Championship matches – UNA won both fifth sets, 15-13.
“It is really, really tough anytime you lose. It’s especially tough when you lose to a rival, and I think it cuts even deeper when you lose to a friend,” Wolter said. “North Alabama is the team that I hate and I love for all the right reasons, because I have such respect for what she does with her team and for some reason, our matches are always epic battles.”
Radecki says it never fails though, after they’ve battled it out on the court, the loser usually always texts or calls the winner later that evening to chat as friends.
“I can sit after a match and talk with her coaching staff and my coaching staff for hours. That’s kind of crazy. You normally wouldn’t say that,” Radecki said.
With UNA announcing it will leave for NCAA Division I and the ASUN Conference after this season, both coaches hope they have the opportunity to meet one last time on the court, either in this Sunday’s GSC Championship or the NCAA South Region.
“I love what they bring to our conference,” Wolter said. “I don’t really even want to think about what it’s going to be like when they’re gone. If we’re fortunate enough to face them again, it will be another epic match. With the way the championship has gone the last two years, 15-13 in the fifth, it’s one of those things that makes spectators happy to be in the gym.”
Both consider it to be bittersweet, because they will no long compete and see each other on the court during the fall.
“We joke now that next year it will be fun to talk to each other and have no parameters about the conversations we can have,” Wolter said. “I will miss the comradery of walking into her gym and her walking into mine, but I don’t think that friendship will ever end. I’ve learned so much about how much she cares about all of the athletes in our conference, mine included, and all the coaches in our conference She’s such an incredible advocate for our conference, that is somethings she’s left behind and left a mark on every single coach in this conference.”
They meet on the court in spring scrimmages from time-to-time, but both say the lunches on the recruiting trail, tips about which kids to watch at club tournaments and visits while passing through each other’s town will remain, and so will the phone calls and texts.
“Melissa and I have a really special friendship, and that’s something I’ll always have. I’ll never lose that,” Radecki said.
Follow Megginson on Twitter @jcmeggs. Email comments to megginsonjc@gmail.com.
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